sad child in santa hat

The 25 Worst Things that Ruined Your Childhood Christmas

Christmas is for the kids you say, as you look back wistfully on those innocent years when it was all truly magical. Conveniently, you forget all about the rubbish things that used to happen to you. We say its high time for a little reminder…

1. Wetting yourself on Santa’s knee

 

2. Forgetting your lines in the school nativity play

 

3. Counting your presents and realising you’ve got one less than your sibling

 

4. Getting caught stealing from the bank in Monopoly

 

5. Not getting any of the expensive toys you circled in the Argos catalogue

 

6. Watching your mum hand out the Christmas tree chocolates, knowing full well you’ve already eaten them and reshaped the wrappers to hide your crime

 

7. Realising that not a single one of your presents is barking

 

8. When the cardboard tube from a finished roll of wrapping paper is put in the recycling before you can use it as a sword

 

9. Not being able to do anything fun for fear of ending up on the naughty list

 

10. Having to sit at the table for hours until all the grown-ups have finished eating (and drinking)

 

11. Getting a toy with the dreaded three words: batteries not included

 

12. Enduring wet sloppy kisses from relatives

 

13. Being made to eat Brussels sprouts

 

14. Finally being allowed to try your first sip of beer and realising it’s disgusting

 

15. Writing thank you letters, or worse, having to call your relatives

 

16. Not hearing your school on the radio when they read out the snow day closures

 

17. Not being allowed to eat any of the food in the house because “it’s for Christmas”

 

18. Waking your parents up at 4am on Christmas morning and being forced to go back to bed

 

19. Having that maths teacher who refused to put Christmas films on in lessons and actually made you do work

 

20. Eating your entire advent calendar in one go and regretting it for the rest of the month

 

21. Being told by an older sibling that Santa’s not real

 

22. Missing Home Alone because your parents are watching the Queen’s speech instead

 

23. Wanting to play your new games after dinner but all the grown-ups are having a nap

 

24. Being kicked out of your bedroom because your relatives are coming to stay

 

25. Losing the cracker pull

 

So for all those that say, “Christmas isn’t the way it used to be” we reply, “maybe that’s a good thing!” And for all those that say, “Bah, humbug” we say, “fair enough actually”.

Being an adult at Christmas is far far better. Or is it?


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