Got a vacuum that’s just not cleaning? A cooker that’s not cooking? A coffee machine that’s not coffeeing (I know that’s definitely a real word so don’t worry about getting a dictionary because I’ve already looked and it’s totally in there)?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these, or have anything else appliance-based that’s just not pulling its weight anymore, how long has it been like that? How long has your tumble dryer been making that weird noise? How long has your lawnmower been not so much cutting your lawn as obliterating it? How long has your fridge been collecting a pool of water at the bottom that’s comparable in size to Lake Victoria? A week? A month? A YEAR?!
For many people, an appliance developing a minor fault isn’t enough to warrant worrying about; they just shrug their shoulders, huff a little bit and say “Mmmm…that’s a bit annoying”. Over time, they just get used to the fault. They learn to work around it. Then, before long, they stop even noticing it.
The thing is, the chances are that problem isn’t going to solve itself. It’ll get worse and worse, until one day you turn the appliance on, and either it doesn’t want to do any work at all or it works so begrudgingly that you actually fear for your life as it churns, grinds, sputters and sparks all over the place.
So, here are eight reasons I’ve come up with as to why you should fix it yourself. I can vouch that they are all valid reasons, although some may have been partially infused with just a hint of fantasy (for effect, of course):
1. It will save you money. Simple really. Fix it now for a few quid, or wait until it breaks altogether and you need to buy a new one. To use that old proverb, “A stitch in time saves nine, and also vastly reduces the chances of something embarrassing happening when the in-laws are round for tea.”
2. You will have a self-assured (and fully justified) sense of confidence and delicious smugness when you’ve done it. Your washing machine sounded like X-Men’s Wolverine trying to write his name in a block of concrete, but now you’ve fixed it and the noise is gone. No-one else did that – you did it. You. Give yourself a pat on the back and go and tell everyone how awesome you are – they’ll appreciate it, trust me.
3. Speaking of everyone else, you will inspire others to do the same. Your mate Tom (I’m sure everyone has a mate called Tom) might have a dodgy-smelling vacuum cleaner that’s been stinking out his gaff for quite some time and so far he’s been totally ineffective at resolving the issue. Tom used to think you were a bit of a numpty, but now he’s seen you fix your washing machine, he’s thinking “Well, if they could do it, I definitely can!” And he will. Go on – be the hero of your neighbourhood, start a trend, and before you know it all the cool kids will be doing it, too.
4. If you’re a man, women will fancy you. You might spend those hours down at the gym tightening the glutes, working the core and polishing the guns (these are just terms I’ve heard before – I don’t profess to know what they actually mean) or shower her with flowers and sugar-laden foodstuffs, but none of that really matters – the real way to a woman’s heart is fixing stuff. Time to start racking up the man points.
5. If you’re a woman, men will fancy you. Anything you can do to save a man money will place you in very high regard, believe me. Plus, you can avoid that embarrassing moment when a man tries to bluff his way through a conversation with a repairman with phrases like “Yeah, well I reckon it’s either the fulcrum radial deflector or the central traction sensor assembly unit but obviously you can’t be sure until you’ve disconnected the inner spin overclap motor, can you?”
6. It’s better for the planet. This works from two angles but both with the same result – if you don’t fix your appliance and then it goes ‘kaboom’, you’ll go and buy a new one and probably send the broken one to landfill. Similarly, if your appliance develops a fault and you just decide to replace it altogether instead of fixing it, you’ll probably still send the old one to landfill. Either way, leaving a vacuum cleaner to decompose in the ground is not good news for my certified organic butternut squash and that’s something I’m simply not willing to tolerate. So, fix it, smile and give the Earth a hug while you’re at it.
7. Almost all of the time, fixing appliances is actually pretty straightforward. As the (ahem) star of many eSpares videos, I’ve learned how to do countless repairs and I’m always surprised at how much easier most repairs are than I thought they would be. It also gives you a better idea of how the appliance actually works, which is no bad thing.
8. Cool people fix stuff. You want to be cool, right? Thought so – get on it.
And there you go – eight completely brilliant little nuggets of motivation to grab the toolbox and get fixing. Don’t forget that eSpares has a huge range of spares for the majority of appliance repairs, as well as a bulging library of videos in the Advice Centre and on our YouTube channel showing you how to do them once you’re fired up and ready to get started.
So tell me: why are you still here?